What can I say about my first trip in Amsterdam? Poor sex, many drugs, and some memories.  When I was in Holland, two friends and I visited by chance a small children's cemetery in the suburbs near Harlem.  Toys, faded photos, and gifts covered each burial place.  Written and painted messages lay among them.  I remember that it was a Sunday in November 2003, with a temperature of below five degrees: A real chilly morning

winter morning
a teddy bear nestled
on the gravestone

Comments

[Andrew]

I didn't go to Amsterdam when I was in Europe -- sounds like my years in collage - :)
What happened to the poem that was here??

[Andrea]

I don't know... I didn't see no previous post!

[aurora]

I didn't see a previous post either, and I can see the poem at the end of the haibun, too.

Andrea, I have to tell you, I was recently invited to Amsterdam. I didn't think I was going to actually go, but now that I've read this haibun with its description, now I KNOW I won't be going. :)

[Andrea]

Is it visible now?? :-)

[Ray]

This is an interesting piece Andrea in that it contrasts you as adult visiting the usual adult hangouts ... and visiting the less usual ones, the child's cemetary; bad sex and children. I don't know whether you intended those comparisons ... but they are interesting ones.
Ray

[Andrea]

Keen observation Ray! I like to contrast one thing with another... Thank you very much for your kind comment.

[Ray Rasmussen]

Andrea, I don't know whether you publish your haibun, but I think that this one, with some redrafting, or even as is, could be published in one of the western haiku journals. If you're interested in specific feedback, drop me an email with the text and I'll make some suggestions. In my view, a good haibun has to have an interesting subject and be anchored with a good haiku. Yours has both.
Cheers,
Ray
http://raysweb.net/haiku/