smooth stones
so sensual
we must not only
touch them softly
but write about them also
I think of stones
as death approaches,
but not for graves---
rows of silent boulders
shouldering our moans
janet lynn davis
"smooth stones," simply haiku, autumn 2005
"I think of stones," sixty sunflowers, 2007
I like them both, but the second one gets me every time.
Posted by: aurora | October 29, 2007 at 11:40 PM
yes. awesome. especially like 'rows of silent boulders shouldering our moans' . . . beautifully done.
Posted by: eric | October 30, 2007 at 02:23 AM
a poignant couplet
Posted by: shane | October 30, 2007 at 02:25 AM
I like both of these. Among the many things I like about the second is the surprising rhyme at the end.
Posted by: Bill | October 30, 2007 at 07:37 AM
Glad you like these, aurora, eric, shane, and bill.
Bill, I'm glad you told me that (relief!). It was a surprise to me, too. I "worried" about this one being too rhymey and had wondered if I should either ditch it or rewrite part of it, but, alas, I decided I shouldn't (e.g., I didn't feel there was an adequate replacement for the word "moans," etc.). You see, I don't intentionally put rhymey and other similar sounds into my poetry. But the words and, sometimes, whole lines often flow out of me that way, occasionally with slant rhyme at the end of lines and more often internal rhyme or assonance/consonance.
Posted by: janet lynn davis | October 30, 2007 at 08:44 AM
Enjoyed.
Posted by: Robert | October 30, 2007 at 06:58 PM
glad you did, robert.
Posted by: janet lynn davis | October 31, 2007 at 07:33 PM
Lovely - esp the second one!
Posted by: sangeet | November 11, 2007 at 05:34 PM
thanks, sangeet!!
Posted by: janet lynn davis | November 11, 2007 at 10:44 PM