pieces of bread
in the middle of the lawn -
a white feather
***
des restes de pain
au milieu de la pelouse -
une plume blanche
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Damien, I like this a lot. I question whether you need the dash at the end of line 2 or not. I think it reads great and has more possibilities without it. Just a thought.
Posted by: aurora | March 27, 2008 at 12:45 AM
Enjoyed.
Posted by: Robert | March 27, 2008 at 08:02 AM
Good one
Posted by: Jennifer | March 27, 2008 at 08:44 AM
i enjoyed reading this too.
Posted by: janet | March 27, 2008 at 10:49 AM
That the crumbs are still there, combined with the feather, suggests a tragic tale.
Or am I just in a gloomy mood this morning?
Posted by: Bill Kenney | March 27, 2008 at 12:00 PM
Damien, je profite de l'occasion pour te saluer et te dire que j'apprécie beaucoup tes haïkus - en général, et celui-ci en particulier !
M.Thoma-Petit
Posted by: Monika | March 27, 2008 at 03:31 PM
Thanks all of you for your comments, et merci beaucoup à toi Monika pour cette gentille appréciation
Posted by: Damien | March 27, 2008 at 05:19 PM