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pieces of bread

in the middle of the lawn -

a white feather

***

des restes de pain

au milieu de la pelouse -

une plume blanche

Comments

Damien, I like this a lot. I question whether you need the dash at the end of line 2 or not. I think it reads great and has more possibilities without it. Just a thought.

Enjoyed.

Good one

i enjoyed reading this too.

That the crumbs are still there, combined with the feather, suggests a tragic tale.

Or am I just in a gloomy mood this morning?

Damien, je profite de l'occasion pour te saluer et te dire que j'apprécie beaucoup tes haïkus - en général, et celui-ci en particulier !

M.Thoma-Petit

Thanks all of you for your comments, et merci beaucoup à toi Monika pour cette gentille appréciation

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