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through the hospital corridorI hear himthe old man weeping as someonesings You Are My Sunshine
first published in Simply Haikuphoto taken and copyrighted by Eileen Schock
good, another tanka! and what a special moment depicted in it.
Posted by: janet | March 04, 2008 at 05:03 PM
It seems to me the one word 'through' says much. Enjoyed.
Posted by: Robert | March 04, 2008 at 06:47 PM
Beautiful, Aurora. Very moving.
Posted by: Curtis | March 09, 2008 at 07:17 AM
For me, the key line is "I hear him," which makes this a poem about your (anyway, the speaker's) experience. Leave it out, and feel the difference.
Posted by: Bill Kenney | March 09, 2008 at 05:17 PM
Crisp and cool. Very moving theme !
Posted by: jac | March 11, 2008 at 08:19 AM
Janet, Robert, Curtis, Bill, and Jac (good to see you here, Jac:) ) - thank you.
Posted by: aurora | March 12, 2008 at 01:17 PM
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good, another tanka!
and what a special moment depicted in it.
Posted by: janet | March 04, 2008 at 05:03 PM
It seems to me the one word 'through' says much. Enjoyed.
Posted by: Robert | March 04, 2008 at 06:47 PM
Beautiful, Aurora. Very moving.
Posted by: Curtis | March 09, 2008 at 07:17 AM
For me, the key line is "I hear him," which makes this a poem about your (anyway, the speaker's) experience. Leave it out, and feel the difference.
Posted by: Bill Kenney | March 09, 2008 at 05:17 PM
Crisp and cool. Very moving theme !
Posted by: jac | March 11, 2008 at 08:19 AM
Janet, Robert, Curtis, Bill, and Jac (good to see you here, Jac:) ) - thank you.
Posted by: aurora | March 12, 2008 at 01:17 PM