Dying For Love (Aurora Antonovic)
Jessyca Winthrope (real name Martha Maciezewski) blew on her freshly manicured nails to ensure they were dry. “Persimmons Passion” was the shade that Juavo, her make-up artist, had recommended, but she wasn’t crazy about it. He said it would show up brilliantly on television, and since this was the Cynthia Petty show, she wanted to look her best.
Oh, she had been on a myriad of television and radio shows before, promoting her diet pills which were nothing more than glorified versions of caffeine and other stimulants concocted to rev metabolism, but now that she was past fifty, she had to work even harder at her image. In addition to pushing pills, she was hawking the illusion of eternal youth. She’d do whatever it took until retirement was forced upon her, to keep the myth going.
“Whatever it took” consisted of one nose job, eye lifts, liposuction, a tummy tuck, two breast jobs, one face lift, cheekbone implants, collagen injections, and numerous laser peels. She had started out with little and had done the proverbially clichéd crawling to the top. The high lifestyle that had once been but a dream was hers, and she looked the part right down to her perfectly pedicured feet.
She moved closer to the mirror and fluffed her hair, careful not to muss the extensions. Her tresses, which had once been mousey brown, were probably all white by now. She never got a chance to find out. She kept her weekly appointment with Marcel, and it was his job to touch up her roots. Her current colour was cinnamon delight, guaranteed to perk up a sallow complexion. Her faux tan didn’t hurt in that department, either, it gave her the illusion of always being rested, that just-come-back-from-somewhere-exotic appeal.
She stood back a little and surveyed her full image. The carefully constructed tailored suit in fuchsia did a great deal to flatter her, reflecting colour into her face. It was a great trick amongst women in-the-know in her age group: pink always gave a more youthful appearance.
Jessyca/Martha touted the notion that any woman, any age, could look like she did, by popping her pills, drinking her shakes, and following her diet of vegetables, rice, and fruit. She didn’t bother to tell them that she lived on only cottage cheese and lemon juice, nor did she discuss the surgical alterations she had undergone. That was no one’s business but her own.
She’d make sure to mention her children, bragging that Brad was a doctor, alluding that he was a surgeon, although he was a dentist, and she’d try to think of something positive to say about Jordyn, although her life hadn’t amounted to much. Last she’d heard, she was waitressing somewhere, the secretarial course she’d taken hadn’t panned out, and her last boyfriend had kicked her out. Jessyca/Martha had been sure to send her a big, fat check, but that had been some time ago. Really, whatever that girl did with her money, it always seemed to disappear faster than she could put her John Hancock on another one of her best sellers.
Her cell phone went off just then, and ironically, it was Jordyn, crying. Jessyca/Martha sighed irritatedly. Twenty minutes to air time. She rolled her eyes, as she heard Jordyn sob, “Mommy, mommy, I need you.”
“How much this time, Jordyn?” she asked.
“I don’t want your money, Mommy. I –“
”How many times have I asked you not to call me that, Jordyn? You’re a grown woman and ---“
Sobs broke in. “I need you, Mommy, I don’t feel so good.”
”You haven’t gained weight, have you Jordyn?” Jessyca/Martha had kept both her children on a strict regimen from birth, putting fear into them that something very terrible would happen if they were to be anything but extremely lean. Jordyn had been a bit of a problem in that department, sprouting breasts by the age of twelve, and looking a little too womanly for Jessyca/Martha’s tastes. She’d begun the diet pills immediately, but suspected Jordyn wasn’t taking them as regularly as she should have been. She had always been stubborn.
“Mommy, I’m in the anorexia clinic,” she moaned. “I’d better be gaining weight. I’m down to 72 pounds, Mommy.”
”Jordyn, I have told you, you don’t have anorexia,” she snapped. Then, placatingly, “You’re just really small boned. You can afford to keep your weight low. “
“Mommy, the doctor said --,”
”Oh, what does he know, Jordyn? I’m the expert!” Jessyca/Martha spat out, then, realizing she could be heard, lowered her voice to a whisper. “Listen, we’ll talk later. I’ll send you something nice, and maybe we’ll meet up for a weekend this summer, okay?”
“Mommy, we need to talk now.”
”Not now, Jordyn. I have a show to do.”
”Mommy, it’s your fault I’m this way, I –“
”Don’t try and put all this blame on me, young lady,”
“Mommy, you once slapped me for eating a cookie. I was five and Rebecca’s mother had given it to me.”
”Jordyn, you know that sugar always made you hyper.”
”But, Mommy, I ---“
Jessyca/Martha hung up her phone. She had no time for her daughter’s theatrics and exaggerations. She had a show to do! She was smiling and at her professional best when she was greeted by the host, Cynthia Petty.
She gave a glowing interview, autographed many books, went out dancing, and came home to find a message on her answering machine from the eating disorders clinic telling her that her 31 year old daughter had died from an anorexia-related heart attack at 3:00 pm that day.
Jessyca/Martha shook her hair back from her face until her earrings rattled, and missed but half a beat before erasing the message, and going upstairs to draw a bath. There was nothing like a good soak and an hour on the Stairmaster to get rid of the stresses of the day. As she poured some lavender salts into the running water, she dreamed about her plans for a new supplement product, guaranteed to give a little pep to whoever needed it most.
You have made the characters very real.
Posted by: Robert | July 12, 2007 at 11:55 PM
What a powerful and despondent story!
The dullness of the senses are so well portrayed!
What makes it so real is the fact that Jessica/Martha does not show any sign of remorse after Jordyn's death.
Well done, Aurora!
Posted by: Danny Rainer | July 14, 2007 at 04:40 PM
Robert and Danny - thank you.
Posted by: Aurora | July 17, 2007 at 01:15 PM
classic
Posted by: kai | July 27, 2007 at 04:31 PM